Due to MOUNTING pressure, from ALL SIDES I must update the blog, a certain person who's name shall be left in the Chinese dark has PLEADED, nay BEGGED to see more updates on the blog so here goes a quick thingie so that it can SEEM as if its been updated:

Random stupid list:

List of why i like fruits

1) they juicy
2) they tasty
3) they funky
4) they bootylicious
5) they malicious
6) they delicious
7) they fruity
8) POMEZ ENDORSES FRUITS!! STRAIGHT FRUIT!!!

AH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

in other news today we saw the wall street market took a severe dive today into the depths of the netherworld of Butamia. In sports Zlatan is still GROSSLY overrated and soccer is STILL boring to watch, fun to play, boring to watch, awesome to take part in in real life, ASS LICKINGLY Boring to watch!!

SHAME HAS STRICKEN me that i have not updated in almost a month after having SWORN I shall be back to the public and give it my awesomeness, HOWEVER there is a reason, HOW CAN YOU EVER make SAMADFIELD go down in the blog site, i mean he is SOOO GOSH DARN AWESOME!!!! anyway here are the news of the past weeks we have been off the air

A dog escapes near death after colliding with a truck but then only to LIFT THE TRUCK up and say VAUUFF VAUFF chicken lovers, i am the DAUUUUUGGG of the millennium!!

Ehh im not quite sure i follow, what happened there? where is this dog now? what happened to the driver of the truck? All valid questions, we now turn to our reporter Melinda Scheistenkoffen on the scene with a first hand interview with the super daauug named PEDAR SAG

Melinda: Mister Pedar Sag you are a hero dog to all of us, countless of times you have saved us from peril and disaster, why do you do this for us

PEDAR SAG: VAUFF VAUFF bizzitch, is your last name really Scheistenkoffen?

Melinda: yes it is

Pedar Sag: SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Melinda: so Mr Pedar Sag how come you have chosen to help us with your brave acts

PEDAR SAG: your leg and me should hook up later tonight and recreate my favorite movie FORREST HUMP your leg baby

Melinda: eh Mr Pedar Sag you have always been seen as a role model and an outstanding member of society, a beacon of hope, how come you are SUCH A F"#%#%#ING DOUCHE BAG

Pedar Sag: oooh YEAH chick got STEAM and fiest in her, me rikey rikey

Melinda: are you chinese now with your rikey rikey??

Pedar Sag: aight let me drop the beat

they call ME P to the E to the DAR with the SAG!! bring your CANINE AK47 and your CREW to.....

Melinda: ok ok im sorry to interrupt but you are a REALLY an asshole arent you

Pedar Sag: FEMALE DOG!!!! did you JUST interrupt me whilest IZ WAZ dropping a BEAT!?!?!??

Melinda: WHAT IF I DID!?!?!?!?

Pedar Sag: KI KHKIHKHOOKHKOOOOO (the sound transformers make when they TRANSFORM)

the sag turns into OPTIMUS SAG and TEARS MELINDA............basically you HAVE TO HAVE TO HAVE TO HAVE TO watch TRANSFORMERS: Revenge of the Fallen ITS SOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOD DAMNITS SOO FUNNY AND AWESOME!!!!!!

PERSIAN BREAK

(CLICK ON PIC FOR BETTER VIEW)

MIHDI SamadField and his brother Keyvan Borrowbinam, this duo has been able to break out of any village, town or mountain anywhere in all of the middle east, the main star Mihdi SamadField seen here is AWESOME, here are their stories.

This is the part 1 of hopefully more parts of how Mihdi SamadField managed to escape from the imfamous mountains of Qazvin (if there are any, not 100% sure) there is a megabig dangerous prison on the mountains of Qazvin that is EXTREMELY KONfidential and is called SHOWER-HOUR OVER BEND or DOLAA SHO ZENDAN!!

Borrowbinam: Mihdi we have to get out of here NOOOWWWW (of course this is all being said and done in persian but for sake of cake I am translating parts of it) BAAIAD BERIM YALLAHH!!!!!

Mihdi: AQA bebin, my eyes!!! mibini??? DARAM SQUINT MIKONAM DJENDE!!!!!! that means DARAM FEKR MIKONAM!!!! so DONT F"#%"#%#ING INTERRUPT ME!!! daram masterplan dorost mikonam with my eyes OK??!??!

Borrowbinam: baiad beram toalett begozam

Mihdi: are are baleh, good idea, in kar mikonim,

they are in their cell and there are no windows or anything, just the cell door.

Mihdi: AQA MISTER GUARD!!! bia inja binam martike

Guard: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllooooooooooo booooooooooooooooysssssss ladddiii daaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Mihdi: baradaram koonesh dard mikone baiad bere toilet

Guard: oooooohh mesinke shoma eboyz EBUZY BUZY bodin hah :D :D :D :D (gay smile from guard)

Mihid & Borrowbinam: eeeehh yeaaah hamon, thats it, so mitonim berim

Guard: nemidonam, baraie man che kar mitonin bokonin agar bezaram berin toilet??????

Mihdi: look into my eyes, POOOOOOOOOOOOOOW SamadField SQUINTS THE LIVING SHIT out of the guard and the guard just folds faster than a ehh eeh himself in usual cases i guess, hahaha if you dont get that one DONT ask me to explain it, cuz ill do it right now, he folds to recieve, if you dont GET that then ask any Inter fan to explain it to you, they know first hand whats up.

Mihdi and Borrowbinam make a run for it and escape the walls and start running into the night into the unknown mountains of Qazvin only to soon arrive at the city gates of Qazvin that oddly enough is shaped like two giant buns, why we dont know......

to be continued....

ANGER LADIES AND GENTLEMEN HAS OVERTAKEN ME YET AGAIN!!!! Today was a day of decadence of the worse degree, ANGER MY FRIENDS is a very bad tool if used wrong. But sometimes anger is all you have left, that doesnt mean you are suppose to do something stupid like act in anger BUT you should use it to your own advantage. Anyway WHY do people find certain things fascinating, ok ok enough philosophy lets go straight to the ARE YOU F"#¤#¤ING KIDDING ME LIST:

List of Things that are destroying the world

American Idol - ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? millions literally millions have been fooled by this evil tool, they disguise themselves as a music show but all it is is a big product placement propaganda machine of trying to get you to believe in something wrong and evil, SOUND FAMILIAR oh Germany circa 1930s!!! now am I so bold to equate American idol with the Nazis?? of course not we all know that american dildo eh i mean idol is MUCH MUCH WORSE than that!! So why this hate for american idol they ask me constantly, my reply as always and what happens: BANG BANG BITCH!!! i dont actually shoot anyone i just put up my fingers and form them as a gun and then say bang bang bitch as to indicate how much i dislike their stupid question. They usually get a confused face going saying: youre a SICK F#¤#K!!! I reply: THATS WHAT SHE SAID!!

MTV aka the Music television channel, the very bottom of what western society has to offer the world. lets try to rank the contribution that MTV gives to the world in order of importance (number one being the LEAST contributing thing on the planet and also most evil)

5) persian food
4) Anything Harry Potter
3) WAR, starvation, calamity, disasters, tragedy
2) MTV and all its shows such as The Hills and so on
1) Greys Anatomy

Now on to teenage mastubatory tools such as the movie twilight that swept the nation last fall VERY WRONGFULLY so and made people be like: aaah maaaa gaaaaa hes sooo gorgous and bla bla HE DOESNT SHOWER EVER!!!!!!!!!!! DISGUSTING!! i dont care if you dont shower in a few DAYS but NEVER EVER is just TOO MUCH why dont i get you a hobo and give him a few lines that are cheezier than ALL OF WISCONSIN and then lets see you jump him, it will be a HOBO SEX DOWN!! the power of mindscrewing is this: people out there just get hooked on something that they DECIDE as a group is good and then they make themselves believe its soo awesome that they just HAVE to get all the books in the whole series and read all of them cuz thast what the masses are doing, again remind you of anything??? I will agree with stephen king in what he said about stephanie meyers books, SHE IS A "#¤%"#¤%# RETARD that needs to be shot in a back alley forty times by WILD BEARS carrying AK47s. I could be paraphrasing a bit here but he really tore her 4 four news.

I read a few pages from this twilight book and dont remember much after that, only that I woke up 3 weeks later from my coma and then doctor said dont ever subject your mind to such HORRIBLE DIARREAH SHOYT EVER AGAIN!!! the mind isnt built to process such crap.

Scripted reality on tv is embarrasing and here is why,

Augina: oh hey heidi im like so totally bummed right now
VaHeidi: oh ma gaaa nuooo why Augina why you so bummed right now, paus wait for Augina to REMEMBER HER "#¤"#%# LINES shes been fed to say
Augina: like oh ma gaaah im just like so tired of seeing REGINA walking around talking crap about me, its like so frustrating making millions and not billions, i mean DO YOU KNOW what happend to me last night VaRegina..?!?!?!

VaRegina: ooh maa GAAH what like happend Augina?
Augina: well like i bought a GUCCI porsche with a ferrari stuck up inside it with ten louis vittons inside them and can you believe like ONE of them had like a A STAIN ON IT

VaRegina and VaHeidi: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHH NOOOO OH MY GOD THATS TERRIBBLEE
Augina: i like SOO KNOOOWW, i mean there isnt another person in the world that is suffering like me right now im like LITERALLY in so much pain. Like i know some dark kids dont get food and all but thats just FOOD, i went like 5 hour once with a single snack, they dont what it feels to have EVERYTHING then have it be taken away from you you know like i was with this stain

Vaheidi and VaRegina: yeah yeah you are so totally right and its SOO AWESOME that all the douchey girls our age try to mimic us and see us as role models when basically all we are doing is screwing around more than a DRIVER and shop and talk about stuff that would make Van Gogh CUT HIS BALLS OFF!!! its soo good that preteens think WERE THE BEST, yeaaahh US!!!

dramatic music and fast shots of LA Streets and famous restaurants and the beach and then back to a couple sitting talking at a restaurants somewhere on RODEOOO DEEOOOO drive, daylight come and me wann get laid

DOUCHEBAG: so VaHeidi like what you guys doing later on
VaHeidi: like i have no clue man
DoucheBAG: well like im going to this kicking party its gonna be slammin and awesome and like totally SPASSS and other YOU ARENT COOL NO MATTER WHAT THE #%"#%# YOU TRY TO SAY RICH WHITE BOY SO STOP TRYING!!!! one black dude shows up and you would PISS yourself TEN times over but when it comes to being cocky with other rich white dudes youre like SOOO super duper cool and tough OH WOW you stood up to a ROCKERFELLER kid that was giving you the evil eye, WOW SMASHTASTICLY TOUGH!!!
DoucheBag: its gonna be so RAAADD!!!!
VaHeidi: totally and since you told me about it you TOTALLY get to lay me tonight and the 98 nights after that, but then ill wonder if were serious or not
Douchebag: ehhh duuuurrrr ehhhhh.............

Enter POMEZ MAN in mid scene: HASTA LA VISTA and SHABBAT SHALOM MUDDAF"#%"#%#AAS and then Pomez brings SKELETOR AND THE WHOLE HEBANG AND BLOWS THE DOUCHES AWAY!!!!! DoucheBag gets T:ed soo bad he is pronounced dead by BAGGING with a CAPITAL T.
VaHeidi and skeletor hook up but you cant tell them apart since Vaheidi is so vain she refuses to eat so she is pretty much like skeletor.

To be continuaaaaaa...........

Ok im not a super sentimental guy unless it comes to SMALLVILLE aka Clark and Lanas love for each other, that will get me going faster and harder than a pack of mules in heat on the eastern border of kurdistan trying to gain independence AS WELL THEY SHOULD!!! DIEEEE LOIS HE WILL NEVER LOVE YOU AS HE DOES LANA!!! THEY BELONG TO EACH OTHER!!! SO GO SUCK A TRUCK!!

Some other things will get me emotionally invested, my sports team winning or loosing, my laundry not being ready on time, my socks not matching, my things being out of order and the mail being late and pretty much EVERYTHING will set me off into a SHITSTORM BABY!!!! BUT i get off topic. eeeehhh and the topic is.....??? oh yeah a while ago one of my favorite caracthers on a fantastic NAY MAGNIFICANT AMAZING show got treated very wrongfully, it was DISGUSTING!!! I STILL hate it with A POWER SUCK MODE HATRED for what they did to my little gozolo. They will pay for what they did and before anybody takes this as a threat please note i have not said WHO did what, what show was involved or how many times im going to ram a steel-guitar up your corporate executive/producer/writers ASS!!!!! (43 times). (Then I break out the tire iron!!)

I have always said and I will state this clearly, MEN SHOULD NOT dress up like women and think its comedy, NAY NAY NAY 'tis NOT funny, its just nasty, look at any British comedy show and you are BOUND to find it happen every 3-4 minutes and this is for some reason HILARIOUS!!! WROOOOOOOOOOOOONG!!! its groin-spankingly wrong SO the point here is something, whatever make it up yourself, lets instead make up a list. Ok here are the movies that i want to see and have seen and their translation into persian, some shows might be in there too:


Angels and Demons = Kordha va Akhonda (oooooooooohh spicy)

So you think you can dance = GOH KHORDI FEKR NAKON!!!

CSI MIAMI = bebinam ino ki kosht?!? YUEAOAOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!

Terminator Salvation = Adame barghie mekaniki

Star Trek = VAI KHODA MARGAM BEDE Captain Chi Chi..??!?! (think about it)

Wolverine = har ironi to djadde ke rishes ra nazade.... so what

Fast & Furious = Trafike Tehran

til next day this is Mister Ponanza signing AUUTT!!! but actually i might keep my thing logged in so i dont have to log in every time so its easier, ok this is mister Ponanza...?......just bye ok....zende bash.

THE COMEBACK BABY!!!!
<--- (back when i wasn't working out, now that i am i am much bigger)

A YEAR HAS PASSED and my head is HUNG, WELL HUNG I SAY MUCH LIKE MYSELF to the GREEZY (ground) with shame that I have not made more of an effort to write MORE, there are a few reasons for this:

1) To follow anything after HORATIO CAINE you have to give it a FULL YEAR!! BUT NAY tis not enough to explain this BETRAYAL from the men of men, ME!!!

2) A few distractions along the way during the last year have not help the case either, since we have been out of touch for a year I will now fill you in on whats happened in the last year that are of importance

1) This number here being number one is very important since it should somehow be nr 3 but still its nr 1 cuz its part of some list??? what about nr 1 and 2 already written above?? F"#%#"%#ING INSANE is what that is......

4) nr 4?? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ABOUT??? DID WE NOT JUST discuss this list thingie and how it started anew??? why this nr 4?

69) yes please

6) ok this past year the blogg has been latent the following things happend to make it so:

1) Greys anatomys evil was getting to me, I remember with terror once I walked past the tv and it was on and I DID NOT avert my gaze fast enough, Iwas stuck with such a horror, shere terror and overwhelmed with an evil soo forceful it makes an indy 500 race car NAY a jet plane NAY a neutron propelled koslithium star wessal of 500 years from now seem like an ANTS FART in the universe.. eh are you SURE thats the best example to use here??? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU THE BLOG IN WRITE CUTTER??? what did you get an opinon from??? ill say whatever the hell i want its my blog isnt it!??! yes most sorry sir, you DAMN right you sorry you BETTE MIDLER LOVER!!! OOOOOOOOOOHH OOHHH ok ok even i have to object to that, THATS JUST not right to say to ANYBODY, ok ok now im sorry you are right, its just that I... GUYS GUYS!!!! seriously get back to the STORY ALREADY......

anyway as I was on the ground in pain and stomach compulsion gentile disorder (SCGO) google it! or dont but if you do then WOW good for you. And then i remembered, we have been told for eons, fight evil with goodness and love, so I slowly stood up and watched the show right in the face and as I remembered all my hatred for it and disgust I mustered up every ounce of love I could find to try to love this show....

isntead i threw up every single thing i have ever eaten since KINDERGARDEN and was hospitalized for a FULL YEAR!!! thats the reason the blogg suffered, WELL NO MORE, this evil is still out there and i WILL NOT BE SILENCED. NO MORE and därmed PASTA, speaking of pasta, AJAJAJAJ LEILA LINDHOLM you make my heart SOAR into the skies of Nebulania, its the most beautiful sky out there in the vast universe, or at least top 10, some disagree but whatever she is SOOOO CUTE i just wanna chop her up into pasta and eat her, SEEE all you PERSIANS out there!! IT SOUNDS SICK when you say mikham bokhoramet, YOU CANT DO THAT ITS WRONG!!!!!!!!!!

alright lets examine THE POWER OF HORATIO CAINE!!!!!

to begin with in csi all the csi shows EVEN THOUGH they are in the ARIZONA DESERT with SUN SUN SUN AND NOTHING BUT MUDDAF"#%#%#ING SUN around and not a shadow in sight they will STILL i say they will STILL break out their teeny tiny 99 cent flashlight and start processing the crime scene, and LO AND BEHOLD after 1,4 seconds they will find a hair in the middle of a pyramid of sand AND a piece of clothing that the robber lost while wrestling a scorpion, OOOOOOOOOOOK so we all know their system and whatever is a biiiiiiiiit unrealistic HOWEVER what is AWESOME to the power of the TENTH degree is HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORATIO to the mofo CAINE, he is just SMASHTASTIC and here is why

1) he can be ordering coffee and he will do it so seriously and with such pondus that it will make the coffee maker guy sooo depressed and yet soo loooved that he will lay down his life in the path of horatio any day of the week,

2) whenever H that stands for HORATIO thats what we people on the INSIDE call horatio, so whenever H has to deal with serious stuff the sun glasses come off and his blessed eyes are in the open, AT THE SAME time whenever he has dealt with everything and its just TOO much to process 24/7 the SUN GLASSES come on as if to SHELTER him from the evil world in which he dwells each day solving its most evil crimes

3) HIS COMMENTS are plentifold and AWESOME, here are a few examples of just how awesome

first we have the beginning of the show where someone has gotten killed in the most horrible way, now the other csi shows with grissom that DOUCHE and csi ny ok ok RESPECT to gary sinise which is about the finest actor out there BUT his co workers since they are pretend new yorkers ALWAYS HAVE TO HAVE SOME DISRESPECTFUL STUPID ASS comment to give, like say a person has gotten killed by an electric rod by some criminal and WHAT do these douches say

CSI NY worker who ISNT gary sinise: OHHHH QUITE THE SHOCKER AUUUUUU look at what an ELECTRIFYING experience this guy got, like GEEZ a person just DIED and they make fun of him

NOW THE POWER OF H to the CAINE DEGREE has a little thing that is called CAAAAAAAAAAAARING, thats right everybody horation CARES he MUDDAFU"##T%ING CARES, he sees a dead person and then he has frank who for some reason seems more than reluctant to set H up for the comment that shall come, so its like this to give an example:

Horatio: hmmm frank we seem to have a killer on the loose

frank: i dont know H we seems to have a few killers in the miami dade area on the loose

Horatio: well frank, the LOOSE just got GOOSE!! YIIAAUAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU MUSIC with the who comes on and its soooooooooo awesome, me personally i time it in so well that AFTER the H has delievered his EARTH SHATTERING LINE I start screaming with THE WHO YEAOOHOHOAOOEOO like a monkey in a cage without any NUTS TO SPARE!!!!!

Horatio dont care who is in trouble if he decides that they are good people he WILL and i mean it HE WILL go to the ends of the earth to help them, also if they are evil he will go to BRASIL or WHEREVER he has to and KICK SOME ASS!!!!!

now once he was sent to brazil and they said ok you are free to go BUT you have to survive, basically he had to make it on his own, AND DUDE seriously i mean MY GOD was that awesome, he shoots about fifty people in three seconds and blows up cars with his mind and then some guy tries to knife him and hes all like trying to be cool and tells horatio ey man taste mala noche justice, and after horatio subdues him to the GREEZZY with his badass gun or something he then walks over to the guy STANDS on top of him and takes out his gun and then calmly says, mala noche justice, meet miami justice POOOWWW he shoots the guy DEAD i mean COME ON HOW BIG are your BALLS to just take out the biggest drug cartell in one minute and then just walk over to a guy and be like BAASSEEE!!!!!!!

he did that once in miami too he shoots two guys ( by the way i hate guns and shooting and i am not trying to make it sound cool but horatio only does it in self defense or when he is REALLY pissed) anyway he shots to guys one of them isnt dead so he walks up to the guy and the wounded guy that isnt dead tries to go for his gun and horatio is like calmly dont do it but the guy still reaches for his gun and WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING horatio CIZZLE JUST takes his gun to the side and just CLOCKS him without even LOOKIG at him, the way he did it was sooo COLD and sooo MIAMI JUSTICE you wonder if horatio somehow somewhere isnt PACKING 18 WHEELS,( VERY LAME INTERNAL JOKE, however if you ask i am more than willing to explain it, yeah you are not gonna ask i know but still)

Ladies and Gentlemen its time for yet another installment of THE SMACK DOWN

This week on the smackdown:

Björn Gustafsson
Woody Allen
Different countries
Weather

Ok lately there has be ALOT and i mean ALOT of talk about this new comedian called björn gustafsson and i thought i would check him out, so i did, i looked at a few clips and some stand up material he had done and so on and i have to admit that he truly REALLY IS thoughroughly UNFUNNY, SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT he is NOT funny, seriously i have a cat thats retarded and is missing a leg and sixteen whiskers and is an allround ASSHOLE but STILL sloggi, (my cat) is TEN times funnier while having EXPLOSIVE diarreah than when björn gustafsson is on his A GAME.

POMEZ INFERNO, this is my seven circles of HELL ala pomez

the first circle you have a constant listening to bette middler music while listening to vegetarians and vegans talk about how drugs and hippie stuff is the best thing in the world

the second circle is a constant red carpet show fashion GAY ASS modeling world crap always playing and some DOUCHE GAY guy in the GAYESt clothes ever comes up to each one AND you too and ask SO WHO ARE YOU WEARING?!?!?!??! first of all ASSLOVER you dont WEAR someone you wear CLOTHES that its YOU DONT WEAR A BRAND you ARENT A BRAND you just HAVE CLOTHES!!!

the third circle is where all the parkeringsvakter and people that give böter for parking badly are located, they dwell with people such as brutus judas and stalin, no matter what they do in the third circle they get a parking TICKET SHOVED up their ASSES and kicked up so far it comes out of their noses.

The fourth circle is reserved for woody allen movies playing NON STOP on a big screen and people that find that kind of humor funny sit and mingle and discuss why ANDY WARHOLS art is soo amazing.

the fifth circle consist only and entirely of people that love to solve mathematical problems and discuss different formulas and pythogaras SATS and so on, isaac newton is there too getting calculators shoved up his ASS hmmm ALOT of gay and ass associations in this entry hmm i wonder why that is, anyway isaac newton and all his likes are in the fifth circle

The sixth circle and the second worse criminals EVER in mankind is reserved for the people that LOVE american idol and sit and watch it all the time getting super excited by something that is sooo staged and prewritten and NOT getting that is the sad part thinking its all live and all sooo spontaneous.

the seventh and most horrible circle of pomez inferno is reserved for the mtv generation and all those who love shows like laguna beach, the hills and OC and people that dream of being like such ho's as paris hilton, lindsay lohan and so on and think that the optimal meaning in life is to be like the people that MTV takes to the utmost heights and celebrates.

imagin just in your own country your own city and your own county how much things there are to see how many different people live just in your own block and how many of them you dont know, how much they have seen and how many experiences they have, now imagin cultures and countries that have soo much to offer, basically i am saying that if you live in like borlänge or oslo or WHEREVER in the world try to see as much of the world as you can so you can see and learn new things, there is sooo much to see out there, HOWEVER the only exception to this rule is if oyu live in stockholm then you have seen THE ULTIMATE thta mankind can offer and there is nothing more than can be achieved, seen or experienced, it HAS EVerytHINg, it has it ALL and thats just that, WARM HOT WEATHER like ALWAYS, i was in the caribbean just recently and it was SOOO DAMN COLD but here NOPE sun and SUPER HOT ALL THE DAMN TIME, oh what you dont agree well SCREW YOU dont read this then, truth hurts?? what its not the truth??? SAYS WHOO?? youuu?? well where is your blogg to back it up, AREEEE thought NOT!!!!!

ok top ten list of why QAZVIN is awesome

10) if you get rear ended in qazvin cars are never a FACTOR
9) if you get bumped from behind again CARS are not a factor
8) using the backdoor when going to someones house has NOTHING to do with using a door
7) their main road is callled the hershey highway
6) the biggest work factory in qazvin is the FUDGE packing industry
5) the highest count of broadway musicals per capita in the world are all located on hershey street
4) the Qazvin FUDGE PACKERS with Borhan Favroshian have broken some major records
3) when they tell you to KONcentrate you better RUN like the WIND!!!!
2) the best selling car is the AMBORGHINI KONTOUCH
1) aah just make up something yourself

talk to you later, hare bye gone for now

NETIQUETTE!!!

MSN, email, chat, sms, phone calls and people that abuse it wrongly, People of the pomez nation (mostly me) there has now been FAR to many abusers of these forums, FOR EXAMPLE:

Say i am talking to some DOUCHEBAG lets call him/her for BASTARDHASTA, for easyness sake lets shorten it to BW and I am talking to this person, I say on msn for example, hey so what about this and that and so on, answer please its very important OR whatever and they dont ansewr cuz they are CHATTING up some bolivian HASTA manana thats 12 and doesnt have a father or mother and are DESPERATELY looking for a companion, never mind the dude is 28 and hasnt gotten action in 15 years!!!

HOWEVER most important is this: IF a person is talking to you DONT "#%#%ING just disappear and then after 20 minutes be like "oh sorry i went and laid a MASSIVE CABLE while TOTALLY not giving a dizznit about you and then i came back and i saw the orange msn thingie blinking"
you know personally i dont mind cuz i have understood that people that do that have SEVERE issues and are borderline suicidal BUT have the decency TO EVEN say like ok gfn or brb or just aight ttyl or SOMETHING, that shows you are AN ADAM and not a SAGHAIWAN PEDARSAG (Dog father) when someone is talking to you and you think your damn life is soo important that you in the middle of it just get up and go away and dont give a fudge about someone that is talking to you you should reconsider your place on earth, that is JUST as if someone was talking to you in person and you suddenly just take your pants down and start pissing on their legs and be like huh what??? oh im sorry is the piss not LJUMMEN enough for you?? didnt know i was PISSING on you with COLDNESS, let me crank that up a bit for ya!!!

ERGO if you get an sms with a question ANSWER with an sms or call, if you get a phone call, ANSWER or call back or sms, if you get a STEAK up your tushybum then SMILE and have a coke with it!!

Basically NETIQUETTE is just as important as etiquette because you are DEALING with a REAL person there too, just cuz you dont see them doesnt mean the person doesnt exist.

A VERY important thing to learn to master is the art of knowing when to speak and knowing when to SHUT THE HELL up!! we spoke about this before but that was mostly about keeping your opinions to yourself.
IF however you are talking to someone about whatever learn how to converse, NO this blog entry or pretty much anything i say does NOT prove any of what i am saying or have ever said, IM JUST AWESOME so listen up, anyway im speaking from the heart here and not the formal kind that you sometimes have to do when in business meetings and so on, ok back to the story: Little Lisa was walking thru the woods and then a bear, a fox and a humperjack jumped out and said hey Lisa little friend where are you going this fine lovely evening?
little Lisa TOOK out HER LITTLE FRIEND and said SAYYYY HERRROOOO TO MY RITTRE FRIEND!! and RATTATTATATATATATTATA!!!!
SO from this we understand that formal talking is the following, you talk about certain issues and whatever is on your mind regarding a certain project venture or WHATEVER and then IF you feel like the person is going on and on you can interrupt if its done NICELY and indirectly without the person feeling they have been interrupted, and YOU know JUST as well as i do that this is NOT something that comes with age or profession, you either are a douchebag that constantly interrupts or you are not,
for example this one guy i know WELL in his old age wont let a person get a DAMN word in edgewise and WHAT'S worse is just like a talamahi (gold fish) in attention span, you can be talking about something and then POW he sees something and is like WOW look at that isnt that great and fantastic we have to go there and do this and that, HEY DUDE i was talking to you about something important and its VERY RUDE of you to interrupt like that and not give a fudge, so much like our little friend lisa the only recourse is RATATATATTATATTATTA!!!!!! boy oh boy its good to know ya!!!!

Ok kids moral of the story to all of this that has just been said, give chinese food a shot if you havent so far cuz it REALLY CAN be SUPER tasty, i mean DAMN its good, or as they say in traditional chinese

咒罵它好 (damn its good) (i think i mean i just put it in altavista babel fish) (which by the way is a really good program tool, im just mentioning that for no reason)

this blog entry post was brought to you by alta babelfish translator............DING!!!!!!!!

OK a few weeks ago or months I DONT know I try to block it out i was at my VERY GOOD friends apartment and it was AWESOME just the three of us chilling and having a GREAT time until as usual some gals came over and RUINED it all, soooooooooooooooooooo wonderful of a conversation that had been going on was turned into a stupid ass communist F"#%#%#ING manifesto about some BULLSHIT crap going on thats unfair to some RETCHED ASSWIPES noone gives or SHOULD give a rats ASS about!!!
So what is my point all this? EASY TO SAY that GHOST RIDER IS ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES of 2007 and the DISSING that it got that night MUST BE VINDICATED ERECTIFIED and DYSFYNCTIONALLY ERECTED!!! Ghost rider was a deep insightful movie about good vs evil, it was a love story, it was EVERYTHING rolled into one!!! so the next time you want to go off dissing a movie of SUCH CALIBER you BEST to CHECK yourself before wikkidddy wikkidy WRECK yourself!!


other movies that ACTUALLY rock that people have dissed



DAREDEVIL



SPEED 2 yes SPEED MOTHAF"##"%#%#G 2 not one which was AWESOME too but NUMBER TWOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!



BOAT TRIP ROCKED i laughed so much I busted a move my gut and a cap in some serious amounts of asses!!!

Hey you know when you have memories of stuff you dont want to remember or bad stuff thats happend in your life or whatever that sucks, heres an idea make up memories and stuff and start believing that they are yours and then just start telling people about like:

you: oh once when i was in india,
listener : I didnt know you were ever in india?
you: oh yeah sure i was it was back in eh oooh say 1996, so anyway the craziest thing happend to me, I got BUTTJACKED by this pirate that was a part of the merojuvian tribesmen they
listener: wait i thought the merojuvian tribesmen lived in the mountains of peru??
you: he was an exchange student tribesman ok now Shut up and listen, so anyway and you know you go on and make up a story

now some people would call this NOT so much making up memories so much as they would call it FLAT out LYING, BUT let me ask you this then.......... eeeeeh oh heres a funny thing that happend to me once whe ni was in MANCHURIA

me: hey are you a canditate?
a manchurian: you DARN TOOTING RIGHT im a candidate and im about to WHAMP YO ASS!!!
me: ZADAMM ZADDI DAVA SHODD!!!!

So in conclusion dont lie its not good, do however supress your bad memories and hope to GOD they will disappear and not some day when you least expect it while drinking your morning tea and that last thing that gets on your nerve at that second pulls up the last 20 years of FRUSTRATION OF EVERYTHING surpresed and horrible memories and then KAPAIYAOOOOO!!!!!! you go APESHIT for BUTT TOWN in HEAT with a plastic surgeon in HEAT, do i like to use that phrase alot, in HEAT?? yepp guess i do BUT its not like im blogging for others anymore really either, its more like an information bank for me i guess, you know that reminds me of a memory that i probably just made up of the time when i was in the mexican desert el sando hotto where i had been stranded by some canadian soldiers while on a routine mission to find some cactus that had the secret ingredient to FAU BAUNS disease, anyway needless to say my ass was sore from all the stone sitting and then a guerilla truck with soldiers came and all hell broke loose and well you know the rest, anyway top five reasons for something coming soon CHEERS MOYT but not in an alcoholically kind of way

SUMMER OR SPRING WHATEVER YOU WANNA CALL IT, STOCKHOLM FIRST OF ALL it has to be said, ROCKSSSSSSSSSS!!!! its the best, anybody who thinks different can go SUCK IT HARD STRONG LONG and im about to get the FRICTION ON!!! the weather this year has been AWESOMEEE!!! no winter, thats right NO WINTER, snow NOT PRESENT!!!! it went from FALL to spring JUST LIKE THAT, what happend to winter ?? i tell you what happend it GOT SMASHED TRASHED and KILLED by gators in HEAT and trashy women in spandex!!!!

Top five reasons why Stockholm rocks

5) its the best
4) it ROCKS
3) its simply the best
2) DAMN RIGHT!!
1) BASSEE!!!

you know something billy what is it,
billy: im scared!
BOOOLSHIITTTT! you aint afraid of no man,
Billy:there something out there and it AINT NO MAN!!! ASSÅ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH THE DIALOUGE is BEYOND OSCAR!!!!!

youre bleeding, i aint got TIME TO BLEED!!!!! FATTARUU HE AINT GOT NO DAMN TIME TO MUDDAF#%#%ING BLEED!!!!

IF IT BLEEDS WE CAN KILL IT!!! ok firs of all BIGGIT UP to george michael for keeping it STRAIGHT!!! yes he IS and thats just a FACT!!!

number four as you all know commercials and marketing is always to a key audience, for example in the us AND everywhere else when for example daytime tv soap operas are on WHAT just happens to be the main commercial product?? YES cleaning detergent stuff and diaper crap and WOMENS product and allround feminist embargo stuff, WHY well its clear cuz about 90% of the people that watch those shows are women, stay at home mothers and the other 10% that watch those shows might be guys but they still use women products IF you catch my dreezy!!!

so when i for example watch my NBA GAMES what are the ONLY two products that are shown and commercializeuueuzed, thats right you guessed it BEERS AND CARS, first of all GREAT combination, you first see some backed up cowboy with boots from here to high noon seven that is sitting with his buddies at some construction site fake talking and then you see a toyota tundra pull a 747 with its RADIO ANTENNA yes thats how powerful this 59999 horse power MONSTER IS and then straight after a commercial for beer that basically tells you how many ho's you will bang by drinking their beer. AND THE BEST OF ALL is when they ALWAYS say drink responsibly, ok let me ask a general question how do you KILL responsibly, or HARM yourself with responsibility???? does this mean only drink so much that your judgement only gets impaired with oh say 15% but NO MORE cuz then you really dont know what you are doing, oh man last night i had SUCH a great time dude, i think i mean i was pissdrunk and i dont remember shit and im not ACTUALLY SUPER sure as to why my ASS is SUPER sore and my new best friend pablo is laying in my bed with a pink tutu on, BUT IT WAS A BLAST!!!

hmm very nice you spend tons of cash on something that smells like urine and makes you act like urine all so you cannot remember it, excellent, next time you go to the caribbean buy a first class ticket and travel in style then enjoy the palm trees beach and nice breezes BUT then when you come back you will remember NOTHING but only FEEL the STD you contracted at CHILI CHILI HAVANA BANG BANG CLUB and you are 5000 dollars less in your wallet.
Now i know there is some question as to whether i am PRO or against alcohol but i am somewhat against it for the simple reason that if you are going to INSIST on drinking something that looks smells and probably tastes like urine then i wanna corner the market and the first zip ill let you have for free and then for a low price and sixteen glasses of water i got your BEER RIGHT HEA!!direct imported from whatever country you like.

oh and take a look at my new proctologist, (if you dont know what that is or whta they do then figure it out or just leave it a mystery) but actually hes very gentle, the thing he is holding is actually only a bit cold but other than that its pretty comfy.







Top 15 Reasons why SKELEdocTOR is the best proctologist and kicks ASS!! (literally)

15) He DEMANDS the truth, the HOLE truth and nothing BUTT the truth!!

14) The term "TEAR your ASS APART" is a guarantee, suffer at least 20% or more tearing or double your money back!!

13) He will ALWAYS GIVE you the THUMBS UP!!

12) He is soo PEDANT with his work he's just downright ANAL!!

11) Fist of fury is not in this case the Bruce Lee movie, its just a medical procedure he uses

10) There is an actual life sized statue standing in Qazvin square in tribute to SKELEdocTOR

9) He is EXTREMELY KONcentrated on his work!!

8) SKELEdocTOR is SOO well known for his work that HE gives ALIENS anal probes

7) his favorite comic book caracters are ASSterix and AnalBlixt and ASSKUNGEN

6) He was the top of his class in Qazvin Medical School class of '79 (funny thing is the school isnt even official its just something a few dudes cooked up)

5) The term FIRE IN THE HOLE takes on a WHOLE NEW MEANING with SKELEdocTOR

4) The term "the bad guy always gets it in the end" AGAIN takes on a whole new meaning with SKELEdocTOR

3) The END IS NEAR is the first SIGN you see hanging in SKELEdocTORS waiting room

2) SKELEdocTOR LOOOOVES URANUS, sadly it is not the planet we are talking about

1) He-Man came in for a check up, left as SHE-MAN!!

aight hare bra more later hopefully

DEAR FRIENDS let me tell you a secret, SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! you have an opinion SHUT UP!!! unless someone ASKS YOU for it then SHUT THE F"#K UP!! who the HELL even ASKED you!!! now is this blogg entry an opinion in itself?? HELL YES BUT I ASKED FOR IT!!!!
So the next time you think your thoughts or advice is appreciated or needed think again, maybe you arent as smart as you think you are, maybe you arent so wonderful yourself as you think you are, if you are soo damn good then you would know to be quiet instead of sharing your bullshit thoughts, cuz you know what, one is not you and DEFINITELY MAYBE doesnt WANT TO BE YOU or have what you have or even remotely be like you, so again SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! now on for some fun stuff

top ten reasons that are awesome:

10) barbeque in a park or yard where you play some sports and stuff for a while then you all sit down and eat crazy much directly from the grill and joke and have fun

9) playing some sports and just chilling in the grass afterwards and just joking and have fun and afterwards going to mcdonalds, so so far its been sports food and grass and joking

8) joking, eating grass, playing sports and playing jokes on the grass

7) barbequing the grass while joking about what to eat and throwing yourself on the grass and eating sports

6) all your friends being on a boat and just going up on deck and chilling and watching the stars and joking and wishing there was some grass around to barbeque and eat while joking about sports

5) listening to classical hindi music while throwing back a few cokes with ice in it in a tropical environment while joking about how wild the grass grows in western samoa and talking about sports and waiting for the food to come out

numbers 5 to 1 coming up....

ok i see alot of people blogging so i thought i would jump in and also share my deep views and thoughts about the world that NOBODY really cares about since i am NOT qualified OR even interesting enough to SAY JACK SHIT!!!! thats what all the OTHER people in the world that blogg HORSE SHIT should tell themselves, me on the other hand i have INTERESTING good shizznitt to dish out, for example did you know that a:

Bear can walk sideways and do the funky chicken if kool and the gang is playing, if fiddy cent 50 Cent is blasting away the bear will go INSANE and jump into his hummer bentley merger called a BUMMER and drive of into the sunset with his paws raised to the car roof, will he waive them around like he just dont care?? only time can tell, SOOO what do we learn from this, well the following, go with a boombeatbox BLASTER up to a grizzly bezzy and START blasting away and see if the bear will do what i just said, if it doesnt happen then GOOD LUCK CHUCK, if your name is chuck that is if not good luck and GOOD night, if its night time if not well then YALLA!!!

carmax are STILL thieves, halebop STILL has the worse commercials in the world and ought to be shut down, ok more later take care

It has to be said again HALEBOP's commercials are the WORSE in the history of tv commercials EVER; that and ekologisk mjölk by arla where some woman goes on and on about her STUPID ASS KID loving a cow, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW that is so interesting i THREW UP just to have something ELSE to do, anyway back to the original reason for this posting.

PREDATOR is the best movie ever made and here is why

if it bleeds we can kill it

kill me im heaaaaaaa come on kill meaaa

billy what the hell is wrong with you

theres something out there and it aint no man

im gon CUT you name in him

were ALL gonna die

BOOOULLSHIT!!!!!!!!

GET TO DA CHOPPPERRR!!!!!!!!!!

RRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!

HIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

YIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

CLASSIC DAMNIT THIS IS CLASSIC I MEAN BETTER DIALOUGE THAN THIS!?!?!?!? FOGGEDDABOUTTTIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE DONT HATE ITS 2008 get it you say EIGHT in the end and it RHYMES with HATE, yes i just RUINED the whole thing, SO WHAT, anyway maybe this place will be updated some more i dont know well see but it should be inspirational ok??? lets hope so, ok take care gone for now

sometimes an idiot followed by other idiots decide to make the world a WORSE place, whoever i behind the show Everwood that ended THANK GOD a few years ago is definately one of those people, this show SUCKS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HARD its IMPOSSIBLE not to get severe suction burns from it even if you are miles away from it, its soooo depressing SOOOO stupid and the ASSHOLE star of the show speaks with such a F&%¤%#¤G ANNOYING VOICE one just wants to RIP his HEAD OFF!!!!! DAMNIT everwood is gilmore girls depressed FATTER older dumber WAY MORE pointless ignant cousin, SHIT IT REALLY REALLY SUCKS!!! greys anatomy is all that was just written but beyond that its EVIL, its a dark mass of never ending HORROR and words should not be spoken as to the damage the invoke, but it is plentiful. WHAT ELSE is pissing me off right now, well actually alot of things but no need in dwelling on it, OR IS THERE!?!?!! hmm lets see CARMAX are still thieves, insurance companies are too, real estate agents are MASSIVE THIEVES, in fact they are the biggest thieves EVER they do NOTHING and cash in KACHING!!! abouuu i say
ALSO PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE MAN IS BACK AND HE HAS BEEFED UP!!! look ic
magnus uggla, ulf lundell, tommy sjöberg osv should be serenated ALA JOHANNES BROST STYLE ALA MTV!!
City Gross KNÄCKER!!!
Willys knäcker!!

LIDL IS AWFUL it uglifies ANY CITY it spreads its evil colour in!!
more later

Some things are timeless

- Halebops commercials have always and will probably ALWAYS SUCK DONKEY NUTS forever and ever, they are just soo bad, not since the movie GERRY which IS THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE, seriously its even worse than gigli and be cool which is SOOO tough to beat because a fat ass travolta italian wannabe thinking he is cool is just sad, plus it was just a whole big plug for ashanti, it truly was sad BUT halebop ranks way up there.

- Steve McGarrett will know and FOREVER ROCK the casba AND much more, he is AWESOME, to ANYYYYONE i mean ANYBODY that can finagle steal or WHATEVER and get me season 11 and 12 of hawaii five 0 i will grant you any wish you like, sexual, non sexual you name it, i will get the people that created the halebop commercials and force them to do it to you or for you.

- DR peppar tastes like cough medicin on a good day, on a bad day it tastes like dr peppar which is wayy worse

- IF you havent heard the persian nokia thingie go get it now if oyu dont know what that means then never mind if you DO know what it means AJAJAJAJAJAAJJA, a major shout out to my main man atrizzle for that

- TRANSFORMERS KICKED pirates ass this year SOOOOOO HARD its downright embarrasing for pirates, i mean seriously they GANGBANGED pirates soo hard its just shameful and its STILL going strong!! next up the terminator and transformers form a robotic union for better cybernetic organism treatment

- travel takes WAY TO LONG, lets all understand we HAVE THE F#¤#¤#ING TECHNOLOGY TO travel from ANYWHERE in the world to ANYWHERE in the world in like 30-60 min and STILL STILL we insist on building stupid ass planes that are SOO slow, believe me if everybody could go wherever they wanted quickly FORGET mass immigration, forget wars forget poverty forget it ALL we would be one big body and everybody would be able to use the whole body in its fullness, now we have a FU#¤#ED up head a screwed up leg and god knows what else, the body is suffering and HARDLY working together, lets PLEASE PLEASE use the technology that we have for GOOD instead and not just war war war war, people come with the stupid ass excuse or argument well you know all the stuff we have today like internet and bla bla was due to war that it came about yes asshole but dont you think if we had put all the war resources that have been put throughout history on GOOD and development of mankind and for the benefit of man we would have been TEN TIMES more developed by now, ehh YES i think seriously why whine here on a blogg noone reads and why not just do it myself ok fine i WILL ASSWIPE SO SCREW YOU! NO SCREW YOU!!

so many things to write about really when you think about it BUT not right now, a few things that should follow in the future HOPEFULLY!!

Leila makes a serious comeback and things turn uglier than ever before

Saving the world or saving yourself?? basically one cant save the whole world and one cant change the whole world all at once and make it over night, one can only change oneself, but then again what if everyone did that, would that not then change the world if everybody one by one changed?? so i guess the trick is work on yourself change yourself and you CAN change the world in that way?? but in the mean time lets fight these insurance companies and the biggest thieves in the world CARMAX!!!

the dolphins make it REALLY hard for a person to be a fan but cant give up now!! good thing the GATORS are still around!!

CASH is a time issue, it comes when it comes and in the meantime one has to muscle thru, its just soo annoying sometimes when you feel you have done something special or you have really tried but it just wont give, well as winners do they keep on TRUCKIN' speaking of truckstop diners i gotta tell ya they are by far one of the SEXIEST things in the western hemisphere i mean seriously they are AWESOME!!

DAMNIT LETS GET THE PARTY STARTED WHAT IS EVERYBODY SITTING AROUND FOR!!! although dancing is super haram we can still eat and sit and talk while we eat right?? RIGHT SO LETS HOPP TO IT SÖRRU!!

NFL IS BACK with a SWING more SACKY than the LEFT NUT CREATED by NUTSMUCKERS!!!

Dolphins is DA SHIT BUT that "##%#¤#%# ASS trent green SUCKED more than a black hole in SUBSPACE!!! he threw away the ball about sixteen times, i mean at least he doesnt suck as BAD as Tom the i am in a team that cheats and it PUTS THE SUPERBOWLS we CHEATED to get in QUESTION COME ON GOODELL YALLA kick them all out Brady!!

In qasvin nfl is called AKKHEESSSHHHHHH!!!!

its the single biggest happening on sundays in qasvins many many sports bars over there they are called VARZESH KHANE TAMASHÅÅÅ EBAR VA GERILL!!

the other day KISTA GROSSEN celebrated being open and cheaper than dirt for 10 straight years, this weeks special ASSRECTUM from the very best donkey of kurdistan 18 kr/kg. BIG SELLER in qasvin.

in other news insurance companies are STILL the biggest thieves AFTER CARMAX of course, these BASTARDS will SCREW you over so royally you can put a crown on your torn apart ass and declare yourself KING!!

facebook is OUT and has been for a while, now you should do MYSPACEFACEPLACECASE.com it is OFF the DIZZNIT, there you can upload your pictures and other stuff NOONE GIVES A FLYING F##¤K ABOUT and then set your settings and moods to things that only a monkey in a swing HURRLING FECIES at you would find interesting, and mind you thats a mighty strong arm on that monkey sörru!! aight gone for now